Reading: An Episode of Sparrows by Rumer Godden
Watching: Ballykissangel, Series 3
Listening to: Joe Purdy & Joshua James
Excited about: My birthday trip to the Poconos with the fam!
Loving: This new-found gorgeous New England weather. Be full-time now, Spring!
Haunting: Polyvore, because playing with new clothes is the next best thing to actually buying new clothes.
On some snark (and a weekend snowstorm)
Hi, friends. It’s been a week.
…I kind of feel like it’s been a year. It’s been a long week. There’s been good and bad (mostly good), but there’s also been a whole stupid-ton of insomnia. I want to stab all insomnia. Over and over again. Forgive my dullness. I am useless and totally without sparkle when I don’t sleep.
Except on my fingernails. There is sparkle on my fingernails. …GOSH WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT.
Oh, friends! Let me share with you a special piece of snark I found hanging in my office building today:
I giggled. I giggled a lot. I also thought it was a little bit epic that the memo was apparently brought to us by not only the rag-tag management company that ignores clogged toilets and stairs with loose carpeting, but also by Homeland Security.
Oh, OR&L. You so wish.
Anyhow, it looks like we’re getting some snow here in CT tomorrow, and I can’t say I’m not a little bit relieved. I’m looking forward to the excuse to sleep in and tackle a few ’round-the-house things on my 28 Before 29 list… Including checking out some of the music recommended to me by my awesome swap partner, Bri.
Stay warm & toasty, all. Drink lots of tea!
How I do invitations. Apparently.
I haven’t hosted anything at my place in a while. Like, a long time. Two years ago, I had two friends over for a very low-key New Year’s Eve. (Side note: I hate New Year’s Eve.) Since then… A friend or two, here and there. The grandparents all came over and had a lot of dessert. You know — the usual.
BUT, it’s on my list of short-term goals to host a themed party. Parties are so hard. There’s all this planning, and then you never know who’s actually going to show up, because don’t act like you’ve never clicked “Attending” on a Facebook invite and then changed it and wrote some lame comment about, “Oh, something came up, I’m totally SO BUMMED” on the day of the party. You know you have. We ALL have. And you always forget how aggravating it is until you’re the host. And then, suddenly, it’s rude! and disrespectful! and unforgivable! (Which… It kinda is, anyway, right?)
So. Parties. And I mean. I’m an introvert. Big groups kind of make me twitch. But — it’s on the list. I have to do it. By March. Hear that sound? That’s the clock ticking. Also, DEATH IS COMING. …Yeah. I totally link those. Clocks suck.
Anyhow, I decided to put my big-girl panties on and have a Valentine’s Day party for some of my favorite girls. (I see you rolling your eyes at me.) (Yes I do.) (YES I DO.) (Also, I’ve explained my feelings on this holiday here.)
I gathered email addresses and wrote a letter preparing my potential guests, and then I created an online invitation. LEAVE NO STONE UNTURNED, I say. So far, everyone who’s seen the invite has RSVP’d “yes.” Several are pretty excited. Already.
And since I’m obviously now a pro at the invitation process, let me show you, friends, how it’s done.
Ahem…
Hi, ladies.
So, as promised, here’s your invitation — to a party. With cupcakes and wine. Valentine’s Day-style. (Seriously, I can hear you groaning from here. Keep it down, woman.)
Anyway, there are several reasons why I am determined to make this evening happen, and why I will haunt you until you agree to attend:
1. There will be CUPCAKES. And WINE. Like… What’s bad about that?? Come on.
2. I have a list of 28 goals to complete before I turn 29. Hosting a themed party is one of them. My birthday is in March. I’m in a time-crunch, friends. Help a girl out.
3. I very recently broke up with my boyfriend, and I refuse to let Valentine’s Day remind me of that. (Didn’t know? Want to hear that story? See you on the 11th!)
4. Most importantly, I love you all, and I miss you all, and we don’t spend enough time together anymore. Let’s fix that. With alcohol. Oh, and CUPCAKES.
It goes on from there and includes such gems as:
So find a babysitter for your children or your boyfriend…
and…
Also, no cancelling the day-of, Facebook generation! (Be honest, we totally all do it.)
Use these techniques, ladies, and you will be POPULAR. And have ATTENDANCE at your PARTIES. …At least until the day-of, when everyone sends you a text message that says, “Oh, I”m totally SO BUMMED…”
Threats and guilt only really get you so far.
I think this sums it up fairly well
In email form, I present to you: My Week, Thus Far
From: Melissa To: D. Subject: Re: It’s a cold world out there…
I’m wiping a tear from my eye… I’m just so proud [of you, for following in my footsteps and freezing someone's property in a block of ice. Yeah. I've done that.].
So listen — a few things:
1.) I AM SUCH A CRABBY MO-FO’er THESE PAST TWO DAYS. I have to blame the weather, because honestly? I’m so effing (YES, EFFING) over winter that I want to scream. I was supposed to meet my parents for dinner last night, and I got about halfway through clearing off my car before I tossed the ice scraper back inside and made a phone call: “Can you pick me up? Because I am not mentally equipped to deal with chipping the ice off my car right now.” TROPICS. IMMEDIATELY.
(And, clearly, lots of capital letters. It’s that serious.)
2.) I am excited about Friday night. It is my only inspiration to keep my house clean right now. See above, re: winter and lack of motivation/will [to live]. I also think we should give some thought to a crafting party. We’ll chat details. Deets, if you will.
3.) I’m in need of some girl time. In a big way. I have no money (NONE), but I am still determined to somehow — somehow! — make this happen. It will be grand. Again, we’ll chat deets. (I hate that word, and using it is giving me a snarky little thrill. If I’m being honest.) (And listen, Google, “snarky” is totally a word. Stop giving me sh!t. At the end of the day, you’re nothing but ones and zeros, baby. …Yeah — I went there.)
4.) I am losing my g***d mind. Have you noticed?
“Twinsane” has never looked so good,
Melissa
Annnnnnd scene.